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Help for those who can’t help helping others

Posted by Jayne Tancred on

When you see yourself as someone who takes care of others, it's sometimes difficult to also take care of yourself, or to ask others for what you need. But as I was gently reminded recently, life, the universe and everything exist in a constant state of ebb and flow. 

Natural therapist comforts a distressed client

From the tides to our bank accounts, there are times when energy accumulates and feels abundant, and times when it recedes, having been used for some purpose or transferred to where it’s needed.

We see this all around us in nature: the flowers that bloom beautifully to enable pollination before wilting and falling to earth to enrich the soil are just one of many examples that come to mind.

Our own bodies and minds are no different, thriving on the equilibrium of an existence that balances activity and rest, inhalation and exhalation - and even eating and pooping.

Quite simply, the continual ebb and flow of our lives is a manifestation of divine order in the universe.

Why then do so many of us struggle to find a balance between giving generously and receiving gracefully?

You probably see the results of this imbalance around you all the time: the long hours of stress that result in burnout, the mum who puts everything else on hold to devote herself to her kids only to realise down the track that she doesn’t know who she is any more, or the healer who’s wrung out and worn out from selflessly nurturing others.

Each of these circumstances arises because we make a decision (consciously or otherwise) to give and give and give some more until our energetic and emotional reserves are completely depleted and we’ve simply got nothing at all left to give.

But in order to give our best to the people and activities we love, we also need to receive in equal measure.

Doing so allows us to develop a sustainable bank of energy to draw on for our daily activities. And on the odd occasion when a crisis occurs, it also means we’ve got the inner resources to dig deep and tackle whatever has landed on our plates.

When we’re in a state of emotional or energetic depletion, it’s easy to start feeling resentful and under-appreciated – as though others are to blame for our current circumstances. If it all starts to feel really, really hard, we might even find ourselves deciding that we're not to give of ourselves any more at all.

But you know what? There’s nothing wrong with generosity – it’s an act of love that feels good in both the giving and receiving.

It’s just that sometimes we need to restore our boundaries, becoming aware once again of how much we’re capable of giving, and then gently declining to exceed our limits.

At the same time, it’s important to give ourselves permission to receive, seeking out the support we need, getting comfortable accepting it, and prioritising self-care above all else so that generosity is sustainable and nourishing for us, rather than depleting.

If you've been neglecting your own needs lately and could do with some support returning to a state in which you feel more in charge of where you're directing your energy and how you're topping it up, give our flower essence Up, Up & Away™ a try. (Its mission is to remind you to love and look after yourself, helping you to return to your centre so that you have the capacity to reach out for others when you so desire).

Up, Up & Away™ is available as a single flower essence and can also be found in our Quietly Confident™ Flower Essence Kit (along with Express Yourself™ and Guiding Light™). 

Up, Up & Away flower essence kit

Make sure to check out our Up, Up & Away™ Flower Essence Mist too. It’s been specially formulated to help create a space that inspires confidence, self-care and healthy boundaries, and is ideal to use in environments where you notice yourself taking on or feeling drained by other people’s energy or emotions. Up, Up & Away™ Flower Essence Mist is available on it's own or along with the flower essence in our Up, Up & Away™ Flower Essence Kit.

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